FreeTruth

Matthew 7:1-5 comes to mind as I think about the final embarrassing moment I’m going to share in this series. Be careful how you judge others. Notice that Jesus does not prohibit all judging in the text. He just forbids wrong judging; judging that overlooks sins (and what may well be worse sins) in self, while glaring at the perceived sins in others. Romans 2:1, 2 issues a similar warning.

I have had a history of self-righteous anger toward those whose cell phones go off at inappropriate times–like when I’m preaching for example. How inconsiderate can people be! Mind-boggling thoughtlessness!

But let me tell you a story. The occasion was the memorial service for my dear father. What can I say about my dad? A soldier who loved his country. A first generation Christian who became a faithful husband for 55+ years until death took him home. At enormous sacrifice dad served in missionary and pastoral work for 55+ years, until strength could carry him no longer. He raised six children, had 32 grandchildren, and touched the lives of many hundreds and thousands through his life, and ministry, and family.

And dad and mom asked me to lead the memorial service for this great and beloved man. What an honor! What a joy! What a sacred and holy privilege!

There was one point during the service that was particularly moving. One of my nephews, dressed in his Marine finest and with taps playing, solemnly marched up the aisle with a folded flag in arm, saluted in my dad’s honor, laid the flag beside my dad’s picture, and then turned to salute my mom in honor for both of his grandparents. No dry eyes. Mine fill up even as I type.

But right in the middle of it, an unexpected sound suddenly blared; a cell phone. And what do you think my dismay when I realized that it was mine, in my pocket, with me standing up on the platform, leading my father’s memorial service?

Of all the thoughtless, stupid, careless, insensitive things one can do with a cell phone–I’d done it! My own dad’s funeral, with me leading a most sacred and solemn event, and I forget to turn off my cell phone. I was mortified.

Later as I recovered from my embarrassment and reflected on the moment, I thought of something. I remembered how many times I’d judged others for their cell-phone insensitiviy, and I realized that I had just been guilty of the worst form of it.

I realized then that my judgment of others was really nothing more than self-righteousness (“I would never be so careless”), arrogance (“I’m smart enough to always remember to turn off my cell phone.”), and a lack of grace and love (“That person’s cell phone blunder makes me mad!”).

From then on, whenever a cell phone goes off at unfortuante moments, I remember my blunder, and I try to move immediately into grace mode. It helps in forming charitable judgments toward others to keep in mind that each of us either has done or would have done (were it not for God’s restraining grace)every sin imaginable that others might be committing.

Something to think about and then factor in the next time your judgment juices begin to flow.

It appears that readers may want to know about the incident my dear wife alluded to in yesterday’s comments.

This is one of my favorite David stories because of what it says about him. He was five at the time. It was a Saturday morning and like most Saturdays in the Shorey household, one full of life, appointments, church events, and family. Gayline was heading out early to an evangelism event, and I was left at home to fulfill appointments on the home front; a bit of an unusual reversal of the normal pattern. The kids still at home at the time had either gone with Gayline (so I vaguely sensed) or had gone off to work.

A 7:30AM appointment called at about 7:20 and told me he couldn’t come to the house but would I meet him at Friendly’s. In the rush of the moment, and with that vague sense that the house was empty, I said sure. A third party came to pick me up and we hurried out the door to meet for breakfast.

An hour and a half later as my ride is driving me home I gasped in a horrified moment of memory clarity: my five year old son was home alone! My vague sense that the house was empty when I left was terribly mistaken! I’d forgotten that Gayline had not taken David with her on this occasion–and all the others were in fact gone from home.

I cell phoned the house deperately hoping that David wouldn’t answer–which would give me hope that he was still asleep and oblivious to his aloneness. But no, on the third or fourth ring, he answered the phone with somewhat pitiful voice. I asked him if he was alone and he said yes–and my grief and guilt overwhelmed!

I talked to him all the way home and then ran into the house to grab hold of him and smother him with hugs and dozens of repeated pleas for him to forgive me for what I had done, drowning him all the while in my many tears. He said he really was ok. Trouble was: I wasn’t.

That evening as we shared a meal with friends, I rehearsed what had happened, expressing again how sorry I was. After several minutes of reflection, I heard David begin to speak. Here’s what he said: “My dad kept saying he was sorry and he kept asking me forgiveness, saying it was his fault. But I’d like to think that it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. It just happened.”

I’m not lying. That was what my five year old said, and pretty much verbatim how he said it. What grace! What charitable judgment! What kindness!

I wept again. He was ok–and now because of his words–to a large degree, I was ok too.

I’m not sure how a five year old manages to show such grace, but I’m sure of this: I’m a debtor to grace–God’s, my wife’s, my kids, and everyone else’s that I know and have sinned against.

Long before David had any real and deep sense of how much grace he has received from God through Christ, he showed grace to his dad. How much more should all of us who have received “grace unmeasured, boundless, free”, show it to others?

Lessons from a five year old.